The Other Crumb

A quick update on posts from about the place - an article for the fabulous site Urban List. This is my favourite go to guide for where to shop/eat/drink in Brisbane whenever I get a chance to visit. I've also included my weekly recipe post for Daily Life for Chocolate and Salted Guinness Caramel Waffles. I barely managed to photograph these before scoffing the lot - very, very addictive!

I have a thing with other people’s food. I want it. Always. 

My gastronomic habits are unapologetically a symptom of the modern malaise of always wanting more. But its not gluttony, it is sheer unarguable paranoia. Someone, somewhere might be eating something better than me. 

I never understood the ‘don’t covet thy neighbour’ concept when the crux of the issue undoubtedly lies with lunch. Anyone with sense would have realized that if everyone were worrying about important things, like a bite to eat, they’d be too full for any real shenanigans other than a lie down and a belly rub. You see, neighbours wife. Sorted. 

I covet my neighbour’s plate. Always have.  The salad properly dressed, a chip far more golden and crisp than my own or that perfect, perfect sliver of cake. I could order exactly the same thing and it simply would not taste the same. 

It’s what you’ve got that I want. I know so perfectly how it would taste, how it would feel in my mouth, and how good it would look on my fork rather than yours. It is stealing. Often in daylight and in plain view. It is a gloriously inappropriate invasion of your personal and sensory space. And I love it.

As a regular restaurant reviewer, people often agree to a United Nations format of dipping rights. How dull. And entirely legal. Where is the frisson? The impropriety? The thrill? Now if we happen to go to dinner and you offer to share, no thank you. 

It’s what you’ve got that I want. I know so perfectly how it would taste, how it would feel in my mouth, and how good it would look on my fork rather than yours. It is stealing. Often in daylight and in plain view. It is a gloriously inappropriate invasion of your personal and sensory space. And I love it.

Know this. Nowhere is safe. The Bunnings sausage sizzle, for example. Oh the illicit delight of scoffing down the last of your sausage in bread. Now that’s a particularly authentic buzz. 

 

I could dine out for hours on your look of outrage and hunger riddled frustration amidst the tools.  And don’t think you can stab me with a garden fork; I’m like Batman, but with Spiderman’s sticky hands and the irrepressible hunger of Oliver Twist. 

 

In other words freakin untouchable. 

I’ve just been informed I’m offering nothing new here – something about having your cake and eating it too. Strangely the neighbour’s wife has nothing to do with it.… Anyway, how about lunch? Say next Saturday? 

Chocolate Waffles with Salted Guinness Caramel

If a brewery and a cocoa farm had a romantic tryst these chocolate waffles with salted Guinness caramel would be their love child. Gloriously self-indulgent and completely addictive, they would be a stretch to call breakfast but I’m willing if you are. There are two types of waffle iron available. Either cast iron for heating on the stove top, or electric waffle irons that work in a similar way to sandwich toasters. If you’ve got neither, just make pancakes, they taste just as good.

Ingredients

250g
 plain flour

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50g, cocoa powder

2½ tsp baking powder 


½ tsp
salt

½ tsp bicarbonate of soda 


6 tbsp 
caster sugar

3 eggs 


300g 
sour cream

100g dark chocolate

½ cup
 milk

110g butter, melted plus extra for greasing the waffle iron

Guinness Caramel

(3/4 cup) Guinness

½ cup light brown sugar

1 tbsp butter

½ cup thin cream

A generous pinch of salt.

Method

Stir together Guinness and brown sugar in a saucepan. Place over low heat and simmer for 20 minutes or until syrupy. Add the butter and whisk until melted. Remove from heat and add the cream and the salt, stirring to combine.

While the caramel is cooking make the waffles by sifting the dry ingredients into a bowl. In another large bowl, combine and mix the eggs, sour cream and milk. Add the sifted dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and whisk or beat together until smooth. Melt the butter and chocolate together in a heatproof bowl over a saucepan of simmering water then add to batter mixture, stirring well. Let the batter sit for at least 30 minutes (or overnight covered in the fridge).

Melt some extra butter to grease the waffle iron/pan. Pour in enough batter to fill the waffle cavity. If using a cast iron version, the waffles are ready to fli when bubbles appear and the waffle takes on a darker appearance. Cook for approximately 1 minute on each side. Keep in mind waffles are just like crepes or pancakes – the first is never the best looking. Serve hot topped with ice cream or crème fraiche and drizzle over the Guinness caramel or freeze and toast later.

Makes 16-18 waffles